Tasting the Wine
by Monica Woodfairy
Summary: Sirius is in love with a girl, yes he's a man whore. But he's IN LOVE. Guess what! So is his best friend. She belongs to James.. Sirius can taste the win, but never have it.


**Hi. So this is the Summary for my one shot. Which could turn into a Two-Shot if you REVIW.  
Summary:**

**Sirius loves a girl, a man whore or not... he loves this girl.  
but... hey so does his best friend.  
Sirius can taste the wine, but never buy it.  
This is The Secret Between Lily and Sirius.**

* * *

A Boy, a well known gorgeous boy sat in his common room. His black hair was long and wild but loved by every female in the school. He's been asked, how does it feel to be loved by every girl in Hogwarts?

He had no reply. He'd been asked how does it feel to have everything? No reply. How is the life of Sirius Black really? He didn't reply, but he wanted to say… Lonely.

Sirius Black was such a ladies man. Yes, every girl in Hogwarts loved him, except one. The only girl Sirius Black loved. He'd never been much for her type. She was stubborn, unreliably stubborn.

She was much more independent than the tarts he'd dated. She was brilliant. Wicked at points, and absolutely invigorating to be around.

When he was young, he didn't know he would fall in love with _her_. If the word got out, well he'd be murdered. He'd be killed. He'd be hated, shunned. His entire life would be ruined… Because……

He would loose his best friend.

James Potter was the only person in Hogwarts Sirius could relate to, on so many levels.  
More than James knew. He could honestly relate to how James pined, lusted, longed for her.  
But- James was his best mate. He'd lived with James for years and years when he left his own family.  
The Potters had fed, clothed, and cared for him. How could Sirius betray his best friend with these- emotions?  
Sirius had hid them, with a hate for Lily Evans, but the thought of her name made his stomach tighten.  
When James pranced around begging her for a date, Sirius ignored her. OR tried to help him.  
Honestly, Sirius would have wanted James with Lily. James could take care of her. Support her.  
Protect her. But Sirius was selfish. When something could go right… He might have helped it go wrong.

It wasn't his fault if James' hair got stuck that way for weeks, or his knickers were sticking out….  
Sirius was just prolonging it… until James really appreciated Lily Evans. Until he deserved her.  
Sirius knew he could never be with her. He knew she was too perfect, yes too good for The Sirius Black.

Or… Was he?

* * *

**November, 12. 1975.**

Sirius was sitting in the common room with Remus when it all happened. The beginning of his end.

James walked in absolutely infuriated. "I can't take this woman anymore!"

Remus smirked, "Last week she was a chicky, now she's a woman?"

"Yes, a fiery, sexy, and absolutely infuriating WOMAN!" James exclaimed.

Sirius didn't really want to know, but he asked. "What happened Prongs?"

"I was doing my usual brains against grease with Snape, and she comes in getting upset with my nicknames." James sighed, "and telling me how she could never love me, and ruining my whole week again."

Remus just sighed, "Try acting… Kind? Considerate? Modest? Mature?"

James sighed louder, "No, that won't work!"

Sirius rolled his eyes, if he could just try… He'd try anything.

* * *

**October 25, 1976**.

Sirius watched James, finally getting his act together. Lily noticed, but because James had to act out… Lily didn't care… not yet. Sirius could see it in her emerald eyes when he acted sweet and kind… Her hope…

It almost made him sick how much she wanted him to be real. How real Sirius could be….

Sometimes Sirius wanted to kidnap Lily and hide her away on an island… but James would just find them.  
And then kill Sirius… and get to be alone with Lily… on their island… Which is why Sirius never followed that plan.

When it was just Sirius and Lily one day in the library, because she had lost a bet with her friend Ameila, and she had to help Sirius study. She was mildly upset because she had to miss a Hogsmeade trip, but also slightly happy she escaped James.  
They were going over potions, which Lily was best at of course.  
Though she was amazing at everything. Absolutely everything, even walking…

But she was truly amazing with potions. This was the first time since their second year Sirius was alone with Lily. Their second year went something much less simple then their studying…

_+_+_+FlashBack+_+_+_

_………….1972.………….._

_Lily was on her way to charms when she bumped into Sirius Black. "Oh, sorry!" She said politely._

_"Watch where your going red!" Sirius said as he picked up his books._

_"Sorry, Black! I'm on my way to Charms." She said- not so polite. _

_"Oh, me too. Shall I join you?" Sirius said with a grin. Lily pushed her brilliant auburn hair back and smiled, "Ok."_

_Because when you were twelve… it was just that simple._

_"So how're you doing in charms?" Sirius asked._

_"Really good, you?"_

_"Not so good."_

_"How's your friend James? "_

_"Good, sorry about that, when he tried to kiss you."_

_"It was disgusting," Lily stuck her tongue out. "He's gross."_

_Sirius nodded, "Yea…"_

_+_+_+FlashBackEnd+_+_+_

But now in the library… It was quiet… He was trying to concentrate but kept reading the same line over and over again. Finally Lily spoke, "Are you really paying attention because if I'm really wasting my precious time here!"

Sirius put a hand up, "Evans, I'm paying attention!"

Lily shut up for a second, a thoughtful look swept her face, "Well then who was our third Minister of Magic, also the same wizard who invented the splitiato potion?" Sirius looked at her just as thoughtful, "Mmmm… I have not the slightest clue."

Lily smirked and grabbed the book from his hands, "I knew it." She said as she turned the book around, the title now facing Sirius as embarrassment filled him up like a glass.

'_The Biography of Third Minister of Magic, Gilby Kinktyson.'_

Sirius grinned, "Fine, I admit my mind is other places."

Lily rolled her eyes, "Of course, you're just like James. Always thinking about girls."

Sirius pursed his lips, "You have no idea how similar James and I are mentally…"

Lily looked at him, as if she'd caught what he'd said, but she shook it off. "I really don't have time to waste here, Black."

Sirius watch cautiously as she packed her books, "Lily wait-" Lily looked at him, Sirius knew instantly it was the use of her first name that took her by surprise. "-I have to learn this junk if I want to be an auror. I really need your help."

Lily looked at him, her head cocked to the side. "You going to pay attention?"

Sirius nodded, "Though, you've no clue how hard it is." he said it under his breath but Lily caught it.

She sat back down, now staring at him. "Why is studying so hard Black?"

Studying wasn't always this hard for Sirius, and it wasn't really potions that was his issue.  
It was trying to concentrate on a book full of words, when a creature so beyond words was beside him.  
How could he learn about things like roots and sprouts and how to cut open a frog for its blood,  
When the smell of vanilla was filling his nose. And His eyes beheld a goddess.

But of course he couldn't say this to her, so he vaguely said. "It's just a little hard to concentrate."

Lily sighed a long deep sigh, "Ok. For you honestly… I'll help you."

Sirius had a small smirk, "Why?"

Lily's mouth filled with air as she held her lips together making her look like a blowfish, and then she let it all exhale.  
"I wasn't always a potions genius, but I had… some help. So who am I to not pass it along."

So they studied, and it took all his might but Sirius paid attention, and when Lily spoke, he listened.  
She explained, and gave examples. She laughed, and smiled, she got angry, feisty and threatened to leave.  
And of course it worked. Sirius was slightly starting to understand things he didn't before.

About four hours into it, Lily was getting exhausted. Sirius was, but being around Lily kept his eyes open and his mouth working. "So we can continue this, tomorrow?" Sirius asked, trying not to sound hopeful.

"Yes, why not," Lily smiled. "It wasn't that bad. "

Sirius grinned, "Yea well the marauders aren't so hard to be around if you get us one-on-one."

Lily thought about for it a moment, and the most sincere words came from her mouth, "I wonder how James is alone…"

Sirius didn't say anything, he just began to pack his books. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow Evans."

Lily nodded, "Tomorrow." She was grabbed a book of the table when Sirius was grabbing his bag from the chair across her. So as their faces collided, a loud noise came, "Oi! That hurt!" Sirius said as he rubbed his nose. "Sorry, you ok Evans?"

Lily nodded rubbing her forehead. "I'll survive."

Sirius put his bag on the ground and got close to examine the bump on her forehead, "That's a sucker alright." Lily laughed, "Thanks!"

"I thought you'd live with your big bad boo-boo?" Sirius teased.

Lily sighed, "Oh yes, ok mum thanks for that, kiss it better why don't you." She rolled her eyes and then…

Oh yes, that's right, it will haunt him for life..

Sirius leaned down and kissed her forehead, Lily stood very still and in shock as his lips lingered on her skin. When he removed them, he didn't back far away, to scared to see her face. His lips were barely an inch from her forehead when he heard Lily say, "I think I'll be fine now."

He backed away to see her face, where she had a devastatingly beautiful smile planted.  
He watched her eyes as she seemed so timid right now, so very… not controlling.

And though his face was only a few inches from hers it felt like miles when he leaned back into her face slowly, "Lily…"

"Sirius, I don't think…."

But it was already happening. He was kissing Lily Evans. His lips was moving against hers, but within in the minute she was returning it.  
A Fire ignited in Sirius' soul. A Burning fire that could light the night, burn the castle, and melt him whole.  
His whole body was on fire now, his blood pumped wildly in his veins and his breathing was getting rough.  
His hands flew to the back of her neck and she wrapped hers around his waist.

'He was already in this deep, if he was loosing his best friend for ever he should get something from it.

Lily's breathing was absolutely wild and it was driving Sirius mad. This was that moment.  
That moment you wait for from the day you hit puberty, no matter how many girls you kiss, and shag.//  
You always have a burning inside, a small flame that's waiting to be lit into a fire, a wild forest fire.  
And Just as Lily's hands were locked tightly in his hair, it all happened.

"Oi! I'm bet you're glad you lost that bet!" Amelia shouted as she burst into laughter.

Lily and I broke apart so quickly I couldn't even remember how I got to the other side of the table.  
My breathing wasn't getting and slower and Lily's face looked betrayed. Disgusted with herself.

An entire week past, Lily, Amelia and I never spoke about it or to each other.

* * *

**December 20th, 1977.**

James and Sirius were in the great hall discussing charms this morning, when Amelia walked over.

She placed a flirty hand in Sirius' hair and said, "Hey black."

That had been the first time Amelia had directly spoken to Sirius since last year.

"What do you need, Brown?"

"Well, I have a note for you… from a friend."

Sirius was already clued in and his heart began to pound like a drum. "Oh, must be Tiffany, she's so clingy."

Amelia rolled her eyes, "Here." She threw the note at him.

James wasn't even paying attention, he was telling Remus about how he and Lily have Head Duties and how much warmer she's been, which was almost distracting.

_Dear Black,_

_I'd like to talk to you._

_Evans._

"Sirius who's the note from?" Asked James peaking over his shoulder.

Sirius stuffed the note in his mouth, "Pant- beweeve- da- tings- dese- wirls say!"

James looked at him, "Oh is it Tiffany again? She's so clingy."

Sirius nodded. He removed the soggy paper from his mouth. "She's a nasty one, that girl. Whoa. I've got business with her." Sirius winked and ran as he watched familiar auburn hair exiting the great hall.

When they were alone in an abandon class room, Lily sat on a desk and said, "How've you been?"

Sirius nodded, "Pretty decent, except I've felt pretty bad since-"

Lily sighed, "Yes, that's what I wanted to talk about."

Sirius just waited. Lily scrunched her nose and exhaled, "I just- James has been really- this year he seems-"

It's all true. James had genuinely matured. He's been very nice, and well behaved.

James and Lily have been spending so much time together because they were head Girl and head Boy.

"I see," was all Sirius said. '_why did you want to talk to me?'_

"But see, Sirius. Last year, that night…. " Lily trailed off. "I never stopped thinking about it."

Sirius nodded, "I know how you feel."

Lily grinned, "and though I'd love to act on these feelings, your face… you looked so embarrassed to be with me."

"Me? Embarrassed of you?" Sirius said shocked. "I thought you were disgusted that you would even-"

Lily put a hand up, "Don't get me wrong, I was.. You're you. I'm me… There's a big difference."

Lily jumped off the desk and began pacing, "So I thought that was it. Impulse, but it's been running through my head night and day for one year now… and then last night… James and I were in our common room.."

Sirius put a hand up, "Spare me details."

Lily laughed, "No… No not that. He asked me to be his girlfriend Sirius. He told me he honestly loves me. And the sincerity in his eyes… it tore me up. You know.. I love him…."

Sirius noticed the constant use of his name, "Lily… there's a but in there isn't there…"

Lily nodded, "A huge but…. How can I be his.. When all I think about the smell, the fire, the feeling of… his best mate."

Sirius could have slapped himself. He'd ruined his best friends chances, with the girl he didn't deserve.

Lily put her hands over her face and spoke through them. "If I knew there was a chance…That you weren't such a bad guy… speed dating and all that rubbish.. Then I'd love nothing more to give _us a go."_

The words he dreamed of, the words he'd hope to hear for weeks after the library. But They were at the wrong time, with a girl that wasn't his. That couldn't be his, because she deserved someone who wasn't in a shot up apartment.

Lily's face dropped, "I guess that's a no?"

It took all of his heart, and his head.. It took his soul to say.. "It's a no."

Lily nodded, "Ok. We're still friends though, we have to be. But now that I know it'll be easier to- to love James." Lily didn't say anything else before she vanished from the room.

Sirius watched the door, waiting for her to rush back in. Hoping…. But he did what he had to.

He dragged himself through classes that day, and crawled into bed…

The next morning when James was half doing ballet in his common room with Remus and Peter, he could have smiled, but it would have just looked like a half ass frown.

"She said YES! She's mine! I will treat her like a princess!" James sang as he danced around the room.

Sirius stood up, "I'm really happy for you Prongs," Sirius patted James on the back and returned to his bed.

When he was lying in bed, Sirius couldn't help but talk to himself.

"She could have been yours… yes, but you don't deserve her.. Oh, and James does?…. He's got money… I had money… Not anymore they cut you off….but she kissed you!… oh but she looked like she wanted to vomit after…. She's better off with James… that's true… but who am I better off with?"

Remus pulled back his bed curtain, "I guess you and yourself make a good couple." Remus laughed.

Sirius nodded, "Yes, we argue a lot though."

Remus sighed, "This explains why you and Lily haven't argued in a while…"

Sirius looked at Remus, "Moony he can never know what you've heard. He'll hate me forever!"

Remus nodded, "I agree. But how long until _you_ stop hating yourself?"

Sirius shrugged, "Some fire whiskey, and Peter in a dress should be the fix."

Remus smiled, "I hope so…"

Remus returned to the common room. Leaving Sirius to curl up in a ball.

Sirius did loath himself.. For not being more, being worthy.

_When would he stop hating himself?….._

* * *

**_SO we all know Lily and James die..  
but hey, who said there was some fidelity or something before?  
I wanna make a second part, lke the wedding and stuff.  
But onlyif you guys like this... AND REVIEW!!!!_**


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